Oviedo Leads Race Against Climate Change

An inspiring movement is trending in this Great Nation of Ours!

Fed up with Congress's refusal to take meaningful steps to prepare (too late to save it!) our planet from the effects of climate change, local governments have taken up the fight. 

And it is certainly time! Even the Birthers and Climate Change Deniers agree that Earth is under great danger from a pissed off Mother Nature who wasn't born in Kenya, period.

A tree. Save this to show grandkids!

My hometown is Oviedo, where I've lived longer than any other place, and I'm proud of how they have in some sense proactively tackled this looming catastrophe.

I see the effects of their diligent labor right across the road from my home. I see it when I drive down Oviedo Boulevard and Mitchell Hammock. I see it on Geneva Road and on 426 and on 434 and on Clark Street. Anytime I leave my house, I encounter it -- I literally can't avoid it. 

And my heart swells with pride and tears of gratitude moisten my seeing organs.

The people in charge of Oviedo have mercifully euthanized all signs of life from hundreds of acres, maybe thousands, saving trees from the inevitable floods and droughts and fires looming just behind the now completely flat horizon. Oaks no longer need to fear the rough treatment of super storms, no longer thirst for rainless weeks on end, no longer cower from the conflagration to come.

Pandemic Euthanasia

The wee animals need not plan ahead for food shortages or worry about finding higher ground. The rabbit kingdom (Leporids, as they are called by the learned) can toss out (or eat) its research on birth control (Its proposed name:"No-Mora-Lagamora"). Our local squirrels will no longer be hounded by hawks or suffer the indignity of being the butt of nut jokes. 

Birds of all kinds can finally enjoy updating their navigational systems to adapt to new migration patterns. I'm sure they were getting sick of going the same way every year.

Finally, city and/or county officials are providing a constant roar of bulldozers and other machines, seemingly engineered by a collaboration between Dr. Seuss and Rube Goldberg, to keep us from enduring the annoying sounds of mockingbirds, blue jays, doves, cardinals, and an assortment of sparrows, finches and tufted tit-mice.

These machines, painted in a lovely, almost school-bus yellow, also help use up the world's remaining fossil fuels so that whatever race follows us will have other, more efficient ways to once more cleanse the Good Earth of its life forms.

This is my tree and it will continue to suffer.

So thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtfulness, your initiative, your wise and forward-looking stewardship of the only world we have. We are deeply indebted to you.

The elections are just around the corner, and my greatest wish is that we will somehow find a way pay that debt.